How to survive a bad day November 14, 2009
Posted by Karon Tripp in behavior, Personal Growth, The Toolbox.Tags: behavior, self care
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I am happy to present a blog by Christine Kane today. These words of wisdom and humor have helped me through many a bad day, and I hope they help you too.
How to Survive a Bad Day
by Christine Kane
Let’s face it. No matter how much progress we make, we’re still going to have “bad days.”
You know the ones. When the old critical voices are milling about drinking martinis and eating crab puffs in your head. You try to send them all away with your favorite powerful affirmation, but only a few of them even look up – and one of them turns away and lights a cigarette.
What do you do when no matter what you do, you just feel awful?
Very few success-gurus talk about the bad day, or even the process of following your dreams and the persistence it takes to shift old patterns.
Truth is, sometimes it helps to hear someone be honest about this stuff. Not so that you can indulge in self-pity about how hard you have it. But so that when the bad day strikes, you have some leverage.
So, how do you survive a bad day?
Here’s a few things that might help…
WHAT TO REMEMBER:
1 – The voices do not tell the truth.
They’re just your old voices coming up to feed. Do not feed them. This is what makes them stay. Even if you’re already hooked in, the best way to begin the unhooking is to rest, or to be very kind to you.
2 – This is not who you are.
The voices like to tell you that this depressed person is who you really are and that the rest of the world doesn’t have these same flaws. Not true. This is just a temporary set back. That’s all.
3 – Mochaccinos don’t take the voices away. It just makes them go faster.
Bad Days are not a call to rush out to Starbucks, hoping that if you move faster, it will all go away. If there’s any action that needs to be taken now, it’s probably a nap.
4 – You don’t have to be productive today.
It’s okay to put down your goals and to-dos for one day. You can return to them tomorrow. Today, make it your goal to just get through the day being kind to yourself. Think of it as a sick day. Maybe there’s no PROOF – like a fever. But your insides are sick. Let them heal.
5 – Everything seems worse when you’re tired or hungry.
Eat something yummy. Take a nap. Or go somewhere and sit quietly.
WHAT TO DO:
1 – Stop feeling bad about feeling bad.
If it helps, make today a container. Know that you’re allowed to have this stuff and that nothing horrid is going to happen with this one day of getting thrown off.
2 – Make no decisions.
The late Richard Carlson, author and psychologist, gave this great advice: “Never make decisions when you’re in a low mood.” His belief was that low moods are a natural occurrence and that any low-mood decisions are typically not healthy. Put off all decisions when you’re having a bad day.
3 – Don’t read fashion magazines. Or the news.
4 – Take a 20 minute walk.
Bring a gentle affirmation along with you. On days like this you don’t want to say, “I am master of the universe!!!” On days like this you want to say, “I am loved. I am safe.”
5 – Don’t try to fix yourself today.
No need to rush to the Self-Help section at Borders. Maybe steps you can take toward being healthier in the big picture, but not today. Today, let yourself stop.
6 – Lower your standards.
If you get out of bed, or eat a good healthy meal, be proud. Tomorrow you can have your old high standards back and be productive and evolved and all that. Not today.
7 – Say NO to anything if it’s motivated by the word “should.”
This is a good rule to follow on good days too!
8 – Ask yourself what you feel like doing.
Sometimes the answer to this can be surprising. Maybe you’ll want to begin a fiction audiobook and clean your closet! Maybe you’ll just want a nap.
9 – Don’t do anything destructive.
Don’t overdose on sugar or indulge in alcohol. Don’t call anyone who drains you. It will not make this better.
WHAT TO BE:
Be very, very kind to yourself.
Be the way you would be with someone who is sad or hurting or scared. Because today, you are.
WHAT TO KNOW:
That the victory is not about not having bad days anymore. The victory is that you can get back up after having one.
Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her ‘LiveCreative’ weekly ezine with more than 4,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.
WANT TO SEE HUNDREDS MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE?
See Christine’s blog – Be Creative. Be Conscious. Be Courageous – at ChristineKane.com/blog.
Walking to your new life November 9, 2009
Posted by Karon Tripp in behavior, The Toolbox.Tags: behavior, depression, grief, healing, identity loss, transition
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Photo: Craig Cloutier http://www.flickr.com/photos/craigcloutier/ / CC BY-SA 2.0
Walking elevates your mood and helps return a sense of control and mental clarity to those struggling with transition, identity loss, grief, or depression. It doesn’t need to be athletic and can be as simple as a stroll around the neighborhood.
Walking has a long and revered history with tribal people of all continents. For centuries walking has been part of the process of identity death and rebirth called “vision quest.” Druids, Wiccans, Tibetans, Native Americans, Aborigines and the Xhosa, to name a few, quest by walking. Jesus’ walk in the desert for 40 days and nights provides a symbolic guide of trials and tools for the believer’s new identity as a Christian.
I’ve walked in different ways for different reasons over the years and have always been elevated by it. You don’t need to make a big deal of this. Walking is the most natural, self healing, thing we can do for ourselves.
Modern medical research also supports walking. It is an excellent tool to elevate your mood and clear your head. Walking builds confidence and restores a sense of control, because you know you are taking action to better your situation. Regular walking (3 or more times a week) has been proven to elevate mood in those who are moderately depressed, and is an effective part of treatment for clinically depressed individuals.
Many have complained to me they can’t walk without a destination or purpose. Inertia is difficult to fight sometimes; especially when it feels like you have 50 pound weights attached to you and getting up is a major accomplishment for the day. A destination and purpose is helpful. When struggling with recent grief and depression I made a point of only getting enough food, etc. to last one day. This forced me out of the house, kept me in touch with the greater world, and provided exercise as I walked to a nearby store.
The main reason cited by those giving dogs to grieving friends is that the dog needs to be walked daily and it will force the person to get out of the house and walk regularly. Here are five other suggestions if you are having trouble getting off the couch or out of bed.
- Take a camera and record spring flowers, fall foliage, holiday decorations, or anything else that appeals to you. This way you’re also looking for beauty in the world around you.
- Try an exploratory walk. Start with your own neighborhood. We tend to take the same route, usually at 25 MPH (or more.) Try a stroll up and down the streets in your neighborhood, especially those that are new to you. Then try the next neighborhood over.
- Give yourself a destination. If you have a store, library, or park nearby, I can vouch they are effective destinations. If not pick any destination; like the stop sign two blocks down.
- Art galleries and museums are excellent enclosed walking options for less than optimal weather.
- Spiritual walks. If I am confused by circumstances or struggling with a decision I’ll pray about it then go for a walk. Clarity and answers usually rise to the surface.
As with most healing tools, change is gradual and over time. It’s not like putting a quarter in a vending machine called Answers R Us. If you stick with it, and walk a little every day, before you know it you will notice improvements in your life and the way you feel.
