5 Steps to successfully grow through change

It strikes me how similar are the needs of people who have outgrown who they are, and houseplants that have outgrown a pot. What once provided stability now restricts. There’s a certain level of trauma and upheaval any time you are displaced from the familiar to a new situation, or sense of identity. Nothing is familiar, doubt is a constant companion, and you often don’t really know who you are any more or what to realistically expect. I have used the steps in transplanting a plant to outline what we all need when negotiating a life change.

5 Steps for a successful transplant/transition

1. Make sure your next pot is only a step or two larger. / If you try to make too drastic a change, all at once, it could be fatal for your successful growth. You can become overwhelmed and discouraged. When you are unable to accomplish your grand task, or an old habit pops up, you may believe negative untruths about yourself, like you have failed. Our egos, often fueled by enthusiasm, shoot for grand sweeping changes. Change is best accomplished in consistent baby steps.
2. Provide a proper environment free from contaminants. / Eliminate any thing that reinforces old habits and old ways. Beware, also, of overuse of caffeine, sugar, alcohol, and drugs. These can hamper or stop your progress.
3. Select a container. / Establish a buffer between you and the outside world. Dr. Elaine Aron discusses containers and their importance in The Highly Sensitive Person. Some containers are concrete such as our home, office, neighborhood, or church. Though these may seem the most reliable, it’s actually the intangible containers that will serve you best. These include your work; your deepest beliefs; and your inner world of prayer or meditation. While the physical containers can be lost, no one can take your love, faith, creativity and mental practices.
4. Use a good soil. / Provide the proper environment in which to grow. Besides protection, and nurturing, this includes proper physical care. Make a commitment to proper nutrition, plenty of water and ample sleep. I know it doesn’t sound glamorous but it’s vitally important. How do you expect to change if you’re dehydrated and sleep deprived?
5. Protect the roots. /Maintain existence in an orderly fashion. Our roots are all the qualities that allow us to remain stable in uncertain times. Cultivate constancy, routine, and a wholesome structure for your life. Necessary also are encouragement, kindness, and absolute faith in the goodness of life.

Changes to expect

Loss of leaves. / Loss of parts of yourself and even some friends. Sometimes it’s vital to the health of the tender plant to cut withering leaves & stems off so they don’t drain energy needed to establish new growth. Trying to hold on to what you’ve outgrown will only drain the energy you need to establish new growth.

Just like leaves on a plant, what is no longer important to us often withers in our lives. When you see yourself outgrowing something, let it go.

We all know addicts must cut themselves off from old drinking or drug buddies. If you’re trying to become more spiritual or make better choices you will only hinder, even stop, your growth by associating with those who are addicted to negativity or interested in keeping you the same to make themselves feel better.

It is painful and frightening to lose a friend or your sense of identity. Don’t panic and don’t give up. Treat yourself gently. You’ll grow in new ways, expand and become stronger, and gain new friends that support the bigger person you’ve become.